Look!

Chapter 4

The cry

I woke up on a sunny breeze the window was open and I heard people were having fun on the beach. The sun was so bright and it makes me cover my cover my eyes. I wanted to say sorry to Riri what ever it may take. I went on the beach to see him but I didn’t saw him. On his room I ask Kuro-senpai if where he is but Kuro-senpai said “No I haven’t seen him this morning maybe he is with Luka and Jane. “But Jane said that she is going to shop on a mall” I said as I answer Kuro-senpai.

I didn’t hesitate to go on the mall that Jane mentioned earlier when I was just half awake. I ride on a bus and it took 20 minutes before I got on the mall. I look for her on the first floor but she’s not there. On the second floor there was a limited edition of manga that they sale so I didn’t look for Jane and just grab a full new set volume of my favorite anime which is “the boy that I love is a cat”.

I was so happy that I got those copies but then I remember about Jane and look for her on the third floor.  I got tired on looking for them so I decided to eat on a café shop inside on the mall. I sat down and order some ice cream, strawberry cake with chocolate frosting and a burger. I ate the strawberry cake with chocolate frosting and got an icing on the side of my lips. I wipe the icing and remember Ryou-kun, he usually wipes me when I got icing and he will smile at me and then I get blush.

I got sad when I remember him but when I got sad I heard the laugh of someone that is same as someone that I knew. The boy that who laughs goes out and all I can see is his back which is same of someone…..someone that I knew. I follow him outside on the shop but I saw Jane going inside on the shop that I came from. I can’t choose on whom I should follow I was hesitating that I want to follow both of them but if I need to choose only one just one.

I go back to the shop and close my eyes while I was thinking of him again. When I got inside on the shop Jane was with Riri and Luka. I feel so happy when I saw them but somehow I am regretting that I want to follow that man.

When we went home on the resort I feel so sad and I didn’t know that Riri called on me I ignore him without knowing. Riri wants to say something badly and I know that someday soon he will hurt me by his words. “Riri” Jane said as she holds Riri’s hand. Riri walk away and I know he hates me more than ever.

Jane wants me and Riri to get together again so what she did was she makes a pajama party on her our room. She invited Luka and Riri well except for Kuro-senpai he is sleeping for the moment. Jane talks and tries to make a joke to make us laugh. Luka cuddles me but I didn’t react on it. Jane ask at me why am I like this and I said “this is me I am normal nothing is wrong just nothing”. Riri got pissed off “You think nothing is wrong?!! What do you think about how you ignore me stupid?!! I always care for you and you just ignore me like I am a total stranger?!!! If only you know what I feel for you stupid and selfish girl!!!! Huh maybe there’s only one person in your brain maybe it is Ryou right? That stupid man who left you?? Riri said as he was so mad at me.

My world feels like it was my end. I was hurt about saying bad about Ryou and on me. I didn’t realize that my I was already crying. “I….I am sorry……I didn’t mean to hurt……..maybe I should go..” I said as I cry and went out while it was raining outside. It was their first time seeing me crying in front of them. “What am I thinking why did I do now I made her sad” Riri said as he sit on the bed.

I was running outside barefooted and my feet got hurt but I didn’t give attention it because all I feel was sadness and loneliness.  It was dark outside and I didn’t notice that there was a car in front of me. I got hit by that car and my head got blood and got faint.

The man that got hit me by his car bring me on the hospital and I was on critical condition. Riri and the others heard about the news so they run off to the hospital. Riri pucnh the man that hit me and shouted “what did you do to her now how am I going to say sorry? Huh?” as he cry. Everyone was waiting for the result of me if I am just ok. I was on the operating room and everyone on that room does their best to save me.

The doctor went out from the operating room and said that I am safe but the doctor said to them that my life is still hanging because I got a wound on my head. Everyone start to cry and the man who hit me was arrested.

Week has passed still I didn’t wake up. Jane looses her hope for me to wake up and run away to cry on the hallway.  My family was not there to watch over me. My family was too busy so they just send me a flower and Jane put it on my room. My family needs to work hard because my hospital bills are too high.

Every time Riri visit at me in the hospital he feels so bad and cries on my hand.  One day Riri was sitting and watching over me together with Jane and Luka my hand moves and I made a sound. Luka call the doctor and the doctor check me up.

The doctor was happy because I gain consciousness. “Where am I?” I ask on the person who’s beside me and that would be the doctor.  The doctor said that I am on the hospital. I ask the doctor again “why does I am here?” the doctor said “remember you were on a car accident and luckily you are alive”.

I didn’t remember anything happen on be before and the only thing that I can remember was my family my friends and classmates but I was missing something. Seems like a missing piece that I can’t remember and makes me feel so sad. When I look at Riri, Jane and Luka I ask them who were they. Luka cried and told everything that happened between me and him. He said that we were close friends and he said that I was the only person that he said all of his secrets.

“Sorry but I don’t really know you all” I said as my head aches. Jane hold my face by her hand and cried “don’t worry we will help you to remember everything my dear friend” Riri cried also and introduce himself once again “I am Takasu Riri I am here for you to make you happy”. And when he said that I remember something about between me and him and that was the time when I first met him. “You! You’re my friend who makes me blush” I said as I point him and I my head ache again.

Even though it was only those things that I remember, I still feel that there was someone I don’t know that is missing around. I know that missing piece that I don’t remember is someone that is very special for me. And I know someday I will remember that and there would be a perfect time for that and now is not the perfect time.